Could we start again, please?
by Boris Dalyanov
Summary: (Not very original, I know) Anatoly returns back to the USSR, but he doesn't see that something has changed... Just a little Anatoly/Svetlana


**Apologize, if my English isn´t good. I am not from an english-speaking land.**

Her eyes were as cold as the Moscow´s air.

_Moscow´s air,_ Anatoly thought. _So I am really back home._

House in Stalingrad Road seemed warm and friendly to him. While he was driving his car to the garage, he was really looking forward to his daughters. Has it been the whole year since he escaped? It didn´t seem so.

But kids weren´t at home.

„Where are they?" Anatoly asked, when he realized.

Svetlana´s lips were moving slowly, eyes carelessly watching the ornament on the carpet. „They are with babushka."

„Oh, well – I just wanted to see them."

An unpleasent smile ran over her pale face. „They are going to be back tommorow. I hope you will not escape once again till then."

He tried to take it as a poor joke. „No. I am not going to leave you anymore. Oh, I see you have changed some furniture…" His attempt to change the direction of their conversation didn´t work. Svetlana was ready to talk about emigration.

„It´s very nice of you, Anatoly, to be back."

When he didn´t reacted, she continued. „I have to say I expected you are going to live in England forever. Well," she shrugged her shoulders, „I was wrong. You´ve got a changeable mind and heart."

He didn´t know what to say. In fact, he didn´ want to talk about it.

„So – so you will not talk to me, Anatoly? You´ll rather be silent? It´s no good to say nothing, we have to talk about problems – it´s the only way to solve them."

„What problems, Svetlana, what problems?!" He couldn´t také it anymore. „What problems do you want to solve? I am back and it solves everything!"

A sceptical look, hands crossed on her chest. „No, it doesn´t. You think everything is so easy, but it´s not."

„And you think everything is so complicated, and it isn´t, too!"

„We both have our mistakes, no one is perfect."

„Sometimes it looks as if you think you are."

„Me?"

„Yes, you." He sighed heavily. „Please, Sveta, don´t speak to me, I am tired of all those travelling and I need to sleep." He has made one step to the corridor, but Svetlana´s voice stopped him: „Your bed is now on the sofa – or you can sleep in girls´ bedroom, if you want."

„You mean that I can´t sleep in the same bed with you now?"

„No. It was your choice. If you want to sleep in a bed with some woman, you should better stay in England with that hungarian…"

„Don´t talk about Florence, Svetlana. She has never done anything bad to you."

„No? She has stolen my husband´s heart and then she gave it back to me!"

„Florence didn´t want me to return here, do you understand, Světa? It was my choice, because…"

„Why?"

„Because…because Molokov promised he´ll get some hungarian prisoners – including her father – out of the prison if I´ll go back to the USSR. That´s all."

„Oh. Well. So you returned just for that? For a moment, I have thought you have returned because of me and daughters…"

„Yes, of course, it was…"

„For God´s sake, Tolya, don't lie at least! I know the truth."

„No - I mean…I am back and I hope it could be same as before…"

She was staring at him for a moment, bluegreen eyes wide open. He tried to explain his plans.

„I…I have thought we could go somewhere…to the theatre or to the restaurant…and we could go to our dacha for the weekend…everything could be as in old good times…"

„And why do you think I´ll go there with you? After all those…troubles you have made?"

„These troubles are gone, I said I am not going to leave you and I promise I´ll keep my word."

„So you hope I will forget this one…damned year and we´ll be one perfect family?"

„I know you can forget – I´ll help you."

„Do you really think I am as stupid, Anatoly? Do you really think I could forget? I don´t know if you can, but I can´t. You have no idea what´s it like to be an emigrant´s wife! Spies all around, midnight phones from Molokov, all those fears and paranoia and monitoring…Molokov´s people everywhere I go…He said he´ll také girls away if I won´t say everything I know about you…I said everything but they wanted to know more…I have spent one week in prison. My sister as well. And what were you doing? You were in that stupid England, playing that stupid game with your stupid mistress!"

It was the first time Anatoly realized that Svetlana has changed. He let his eyes down and muttered: „I didn´t know you have been in prison. I am sorry…"

„It´s too late for apologize now."

„Sveta, please, I really didn´t want to make any problems to you and girls."

„You should think of that before you have ever stepped to the British Consulate."

Anatoly laid his hand on Svetlana´s arm. She looked at him and shook it off. „No, Anatoly. This is not for us. I want to go sleep. Have a good night."

„Svetlana, please, wait for a while. So…so we are going to live here side by side without love?"

„My love was hurted and your love has moved to London. We don´t have to pretend anything. There is no place for love in our house."

„Why are you so pessimistic?"

„Not pessimistic – just realistic."

„Sveta, so you think there is no hope in our relationship to live as two years ago?"

She shrugged her shoulders wearily.

„You are not right, Sveta. We can always start from the beginning."

A look in her eyes was not giving him much hope.

And so he tried the last attempt, and he put into his words his whole life, desire, dreams, plans and soul. „Could we start again, please?"

But he knew the answer even before Svetlana opened her mouth to say it.


End file.
